Sacrament of Marriage

Today, we're going to take up the great other sacrament of service—marriage. Last time, when we were reflecting on priesthood and the diaconate and the ministry of bishops, we were talking about how the Church should organize—hierarchy as an organization of love. The most foundational organization of love in the Christian life is the Sacrament of Marriage. That flows, of course, from Baptism.  It's that union of husband and wife,  a union intended by God.

You know, the history of marriage goes back long before Christ, long before the Jewish people. It was, as the Church says, written into human nature that we would long for one another and long for lifelong company.

The fact of Christ's coming, as evidenced in the Wedding Feast at Cana, shows Christ understood the importance of marriage. In fact, what we would say in the Sacrament of Marriage is that the dignity of marriage has been elevated to a pathway of grace.

The purposes of marriage in the years before the Second Vatican Council—if you would have asked a Catholic what the purpose of marriage was, they would have said procreation. The creation of children, cooperating with God, and bringing children into the world.

The Second Vatican Council looked at marriage and said there's more to marriage than just procreation. First among the purposes is the reflection of God's love.

And so they use the language that marriage has two purposes: the partnership of life and love that is shared by husband and wife, and ultimately with children—thus the procreation and education of children. All of that together makes up how the Sacrament of Marriage is lived out.

The wonderful thing about the Sacrament of Marriage is when we look at the ministers of marriage. Oftentimes, people will say, as a deacon, that I've married lots of people.

In fact, I haven't. I've married my wife. What I have done is witness the marriage of a number of people.

Husbands and wives who join their lives together as ministers to one another. The one sacrament where the minister is not the bishop, the priest, or the deacon is the Sacrament of Marriage—the sacrament in which these two people become for each other the avenue of Christ's grace.

We think about the meaning of love. Love is to will the good of another. That indeed is at the heart of marriage: a husband willing the good of his wife, and a wife willing the good of her husband.

The Church, in looking at the Sacrament of Marriage, understands that sacramental marriage—this very special pathway of grace—is intended to be exclusive and lifelong. It does go until death do we part.

The Church's teaching is a reminder for us of the way God's love works. God's love for each of us and for all creation is a one-and-only love. It goes on, and it is exclusively oriented toward each and toward all. As human beings on this earth, our capacity to love is limited in that way.

And so, we're called to that exclusive love in the Sacrament of Marriage—of husband and wife, committed to each other unconditionally until death do we part.

When I'm preparing couples for marriage, one of the things I say to them is: a way to think about the love of the Sacrament of Marriage is to say,
 "In this pledge to you and you to me, there is nothing that one can do that can stop me from loving you." That's the way God loves—always intensely, infinitely, without end. And we try to imitate that in the Sacrament of Marriage.

Sisters and brothers, if all of us approach marriage as a great sacrament of love, of lifelong unity, and that yields the fruit of children and life in our communities, we indeed would be renewed.

Reflection Questions:

1. How does understanding marriage as a sacrament shape my view of love and commitment?

2. In what ways can I serve as a minister of grace to my spouse or future spouse?

3. How do the teachings of the Church challenge or inspire my understanding of lifelong, unconditional love?